I'm Blair! Nice to meet you!
Hey I'm Blair! I'm so excited to meet you!
One of my favorite conversations in Seinfeld happens when Mr. Pitt meets Elaine Benes and they discuss the concept of grace. Elaine, of course, isn’t particularly graceful. But an opportune scarf kicks off a season-long story arc. In some ways, Blair reminds me of Elaine. Not because she’s coarse, but because she’s not someone whom you’d think has a personality that we commonly (in our infinite stereotyping folly) ascribe to a “feminine seductress”. She’s a nerd–given to comic conventions, the Harry Potter novels, and My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic. She’s happiest surrounded by books, comfort food, and cats.
But that’s just one side of her. We had to lead with that because well, when the metaphorical scarf is on, she’s the living embodiment of grace. She’s the kind of pretty that poets used to write sonnet cycles over, and not like, a weak-ass 10-sonnet cycle. Blair deserves the full 154 sonnets and “Come with me and be my love and we will all the pleasures prove” in addition to that, and every Disney movie and myth of Persephone and I mean, literally everything ever. Her smile launches not a thousand but at least 1007 ships. We call her the Queen of Hearts, because well, when she smiles, it’s not just the lark at break of dawn arising to sing hymns at heaven’s gate, it’s also the moon rising over still waters, it’s Jacky Terrason’s version of “I Love You for Sentimental Reasons”, with some jungle drums added to punctuate the pounding in your heart, because she’s too perfect to exist.
And yet, she exists. Dressed in La Perla under Prada and giggling along to cartoons. Since she likes My Little Pony, let’s end with a quote from Steven Magnet: What a world, what a world. What a world indeed.
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